10 Christmas Gifts for the Groom's Parents: The Thank-You They Missed
Count the thank-yous from your wedding day: the speeches, the cards, the gifts. Now count how many had his parents' names on them. At a lot of weddings, the bride's parents get the toasts and the thank-you notes, and his parents get a line in the speech and a hug on the way out. His mother's thank-you may have happened at the coat check. That's how the day is often set up, not a snub, but it means the first Christmas is the best second chance you'll get. Give them the thank-you the wedding didn't, from both of you, and have the groom do the talking.
How we picked
These ten run from stocking-sized, to the main present, to little or no money, because a thank-you shouldn't need a big budget. Each one has to work for two people who may not be sentimental, still mean something in February, and come believably from their son. Five are LunaVows pieces. The other five we don't sell, and one of them, the letter in item 7, belongs with whatever you buy.
Who gives it: both of you, but he writes the card
The gift comes from both of you. The card should be in his handwriting, and he should be the one who hands it over. Wedding thanks often travel through whoever wrote the cards, so the point is for them to hear it from him directly. If he says "you're better at this," the answer is that it isn't meant to be well written. If you want the wedding-day version of all this, it's in what to give your parents at a wedding.
Small enough for a stocking
1. A mother of the groom Christmas ornament, with a photo from the day
Somewhere in the gallery is the frame of her straightening his tie or dancing with him. Put it on the wooden photo ornament, which takes a photo, names and a date on rustic wood in 3x5 or 4x5 inches. Write "Mom & Daniel" and the wedding date and it becomes her mother of the groom ornament, with a photo from your wedding on it.
Suits: a mother whose tree already holds every school-photo ornament he ever made. This one hangs next to them, where every visitor who asks "who's that?" gets the story. Tip: choose a close frame with both faces clear. At 3x5 inches, a wide shot from across the dance floor doesn't read.
2. A 5x7 of father and son
At plenty of weddings, the father of the groom ends up in the back row of the group shots and in very few photos of his own. If your photographer caught the two of them together, even laughing at the bar, print it at 5x7 and put it in a plain frame. Any print shop can do it, and it'll stand on his desk.
Suits: a father who isn't sentimental out loud. Tip: if no such photo exists, ask a guest. Someone's phone may well have caught one.
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The main present
3. A vase made for the groom's parents
Our main pick is the parents of the groom wedding vase. It has burgundy and gold botanical flourishes and intertwined rings, with names, a date and a custom image option, in 3.7 × 5.7 or 4.3 × 7.9 inches. It's made and named for this pair specifically, and a vase gets used: it holds flowers on their table this winter and on a birthday in May.
Suits: a more formal house where burgundy and gold won't clash. Decide first: whose names go on it. Your names and your wedding date make it a keepsake of your day. Their names and their own wedding date make it a gift about them. For a thank-you, we'd choose theirs. If his parents are divorced, skip the shared vase and give each their own piece; the ornament and the mug split naturally.
4. An embroidered Christmas wreath sash with the family initial
The embroidered Christmas wreath sash is 100% linen in green gingham, 5 × 50 inches. One end is embroidered with greenery, holly berries, a bow and ornament details, and the other carries a family initial. Their initial is often the one your new household shares, which is a quiet way to say "same family" without a speech.
Suits: whoever in the house hangs the wreath, and a front door that already gets one every year. Check: if you kept your own surname, or his parents use different ones, use the initial on their door, not yours.
5. A Christmas gift for the father of the groom: his photo on his mug
The wedding photo mug is a 12 oz ceramic mug with one photo printed on one side. The other side is left plain, and it's printed, not engraved. If he has one mug he always reaches for, this gives him a second, with a photo of him and his son on it.
Suits: the coffee-first, words-later father. Tip: the listing describes a couple photo, but use a clear one of him and his son with both faces visible, as its photo guidelines ask. A mug with his daughter-in-law's face on it is a strange thing to drink from at 6 a.m.
6. Their dance, as an oil-style portrait
If the photographer caught his parents dancing, that's a portrait of their marriage taken at your wedding. The oil portrait canvas turns a photo into an oil-painting-style image with plenty of white space, a warm accent backdrop and modern lettering, in 8x10, 12x16 or 18x24 inches.
Suits: parents with a wall that needs something. Caveat: it's at its best with a clear photo of the two of them together. A blurry dance-floor frame won't improve on canvas, so use the sharpest one you have.
Little or no money
7. A letter from the groom
One page, in his handwriting, naming three things they did that made the wedding possible. Think of the deposit, the drive, the rehearsal dinner, the time his dad fixed the sound system. It costs nothing and asks more of him than any shop could. It's the half of the gift they'll reread; the vase is the half they'll use. You can proofread. You can't write it.
If he stalls, hand him three openings and let him finish them:
- "The first thing I remember you doing for the wedding was…"
- "I didn't say thank you at the time for…"
- "The part of the day I keep thinking about is…"
8. The rehearsal dinner, returned
If his parents hosted the rehearsal dinner, take them out to dinner, the four of you, with you paying. A January booking makes it easy to schedule and gives everyone something to look forward to after the holidays. It's the plainest way to say the night before the wedding didn't go unnoticed.
9. A seat at your first Christmas
Your first married Christmas may already be split between two families. Offer his parents one fixed slot of your own, like Christmas Eve dinner at your place or breakfast the Saturday after Christmas, and put it in the card as a standing invitation. For parents who are quietly bracing to "lose" their son to the other side's traditions, this is the most reassuring line you can write.
10. An afternoon of the old thing
Whatever he and his dad did together when he was twelve, whether it was fishing, a ballgame or working on the car, book an afternoon of it in the new year. Just the two of them, with you encouraging from a distance. For his mother, the equivalent is whatever she and her son used to do. That might be a movie, a bakery run or the garden center.
If you only do two things
Pick one piece from the first two sections (if you're unsure, the parents of the groom vase with their names and their own wedding date) and add the letter from item 7. Wrap them together, and let him hand both over. Order the piece first, since it's made to order in 1 to 3 business days and delivery is quoted at 6 to 10 business days from the order, production included; he can write the letter while it's on its way. Spell-check every name, because each piece is made exactly as typed.
Picture it at his parents' house. He hands his mother the box and the envelope together. She reads the card first, in his handwriting, then lifts out the parents of the groom vase with her and his dad's names and the date they married. That's the thank-you the wedding didn't have room for.
For how far ahead to order, our ordering timeline walks back from the day you'll wrap.
Frequently asked questions
What do you give the parents of the groom at Christmas?
A thank-you that comes from both of you and is spoken by the groom: a keepsake made for them, like the parents of the groom vase, a photo of them from the day, or time together. Pair any object with a handwritten note from their son.
Are the groom's parents supposed to give the couple a gift?
Many do, at the wedding or the rehearsal dinner, but there's no fixed rule. Whatever they gave, or didn't, shouldn't shape your Christmas gift. This one is a thank-you, not a return.
What is a good Christmas gift for the father of the groom?
Something he'll use the next morning, like a mug with a photo of him and his son, or time doing the thing the two of them always did. Plenty of fathers would rather use a gift than read about how much it means.
Is a mother of the groom Christmas ornament too sentimental?
Not if it has a real photo of the two of them from the day. Ornaments are the one place most families expect sentiment, and a dated one goes back on the tree every year.
Should the bride's parents give the groom's parents a gift?
It isn't expected. A card or a shared dinner after the wedding is a gracious gesture between the two families, but it's their call, not something the couple should arrange.
Cover photo: Sneha G Gupta, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons.
